Using Body Language to Improve (and Understand) Your Dating Life

When you're on a date there are four main ways you are communicating to the person you are with; how you look, how you act, what you say, and your body language. Body language provides your date with conscious and subconscious verbal cues that relate what type of person you are and whether or not you are enjoying the date. Understanding these cues can help you improve your dating life and "read" what the person you are with is subconsciously thinking.

Here's a look at some common gestures you may see (or do) when on a date and what that body language means:

Arms Crossed
Outside of being in a refrigerator, crossing your arms indicates that you are either bored or defensive. One person will often cross their arms on a date when the other person is talking to much. Another example is when you project something accusatory to your date, you may see your date cross his/her arms out of being defensive. Either way, if your date has their arms crossed you need to change your actions immediately. And keep in mind that if you cross your arms you are sending a negative message.

Leaning Forward - Looking at Date
When your date leans forward and looks at you while you are talking, it is an indication that they are very interested in what you are saying and comfortable with you. Contrast that to your date leaning back and looking around a lot; an indication that he/she is bored.

Light Touch on Shoulder or Hand
Have you ever been talking to someone and when they say something they sometimes lightly touch you on the hand or shoulder while making a point? This is a sure sign that the person is interested in the interaction between the two of you. On a date this is a very good sign that the person is interested in you.

Direct Eye Contact
When a person is talking to you and consistently looking you in the eyes while talking, it is a signal of comfort, respect, confidence, and interest. On a date this is a very powerful body language sign. Constantly looking away is a sign of insecurity and lack of interest.

Space
When you are walking with a date, walking close to each other (without invading a person's personal space) is a good indication of comfort. Likewise, if a person walks further away from you or backs away when you move a little closer, it is an indication of being uncomfortable around you.

Remember that body language is a sign of the quality of communication, comfort, and interest. Review the above signs and look for them when on a date. It is the closest you will come to being able to "read your date's mind".

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Joe Tracy is a relationship expert, publisher of Online Dating Magazine, and an editor for the Online Dating Industry Journal. Tracy has been quoted for dozens of magazine and newspaper articles. He's also appeared on numberous radio programs and TV shows.